Underhanded (Michelle Sportsman's Song)

You brought me in
when it was time to win.
And win is what we’ll do.
You may not like me when we’re through.

I don’t know what the hell this team’s deal was before me,
and I don’t care.
But I heard about all of your ridiculous little plans
that got you nowhere.
And now everything’s going all to hell, can’t you tell?
Can’t you all feel it?
You gotta know time is running out to win a ring…
so why not steal it?

(That’s what they’ll say
when they see me going all the way:
“She’s the pitcher who needs no relief,
but only because she’s a thief.”)

“She’s underhanded.
She breaks all the rules of the game and I don’t understand it.
It’s cheap and unfair and I don’t know why they haven’t banned it.
But I guess for those Breath Mints it’s all going just like they planned it.”

I didn’t ask to be like this:
no more than just a means to an end.
And I’ll be gone in no time,
so you can all quit trying to be my friend.
And time will tell if I’ll remember all of you in a year or two.
I frankly doubt it!
But we’ll remember when we swept the Crabs
in the Mild League Championship Series, won’t we?

So how about it?