Pudge Nakamoto (Is Shaped Like a Friend)

Pudge Nakamoto is new to the game.
They just appeared in the spot where your favorite star had been enveloped in flame.
So if anyone asks you “Where the hell’d our Boyfriend go?”
Just introduce them to their new best friend, Pudge Nakamoto.

Pudge doesn’t know what to do with a bat,
and refuses to learn so there’s not very much anyone can really do about that.
But you don’t have to improve, and you don’t have to grow
if you can just chill and eat pancakes with your best friend, Pudge Nakamoto.

Now Pudge does make a mean pancake, it must be said!
But it still won’t be more than a couple of seasons before you end up wanting them dead.

’Cause Pudge Nakamoto is shaped like a friend.
They’re cute and they’re fat and their time as your leadoff bat will never come to an end.
So if you had dreams of a team with a championship in a season or two,
your new best friend Pudge Nakamoto will make sure they never come true.