Marco Stink

He’s Marco Stink!
He hits dingers!
He has six legs!
He has no stinger!
When he rounds the bases, his smell still lingers!
He learned a few things about theft from his friend Best, the fresh left-winger!

There goes that bug again!
He can’t really smile, but he’s looking smug again
As he tags home plate, and gives me a hug again!
Well, I guess that I can call that bug a friend!

I didn’t know what to expect when he swapped in from the Steaks.
None of us really knew if that bug had what it takes
To be a Breath Mint and a comrade, in that little jester hat.
But then he hit a double in his first at-bat!

Well, in the dugout, we all shared a look and said a “thank you” for the weather.
And then the bleachers shook as we shouted together:

We love that bug!
Yeah, he hits just like a dream!
We love that bug!
And we’re glad he’s on the team!
Even if he smells a bit like sour cream!

Well, I taught Marco how to steal when the dingers don’t go through.
And I told him: as a bug, it’s not illegal for you.
And he said, “What’s illegal!” and I started to explain,
And he said, “What’s illegal with you!” That bug got me again!

But I don’t mind when he leaves shells around the place.
And I’ve learned how to tell when there’s a smile on his face.
Like when he feels that bat connect, and he knows he gets to run.
Yeah, he taught me that living in this hell can still be fun.
So if — by flame, or tooth, or something worse — I have to go away,
The main thing I hope is that he’s okay.

Cause I love that bug, and the joy that’s in his game.
Yeah, I asked the whole damn team and they all feel the same.
(Now, they all express themselves differently, but I know them well enough to read between the lines, and what they all basically said was…)

We love that bug!
And that bug loves eating seeds!
We love that bug!
And we know just what he needs!
He needs to run around the bases at top speed!

We love that bug!
Yeah, he’s just a little guy!
We love that bug!
But he hits ’em to the sky!
With a team like this, the Mints will never die!